Dear Friends,

signed,
CEO
J.P. Morgan

raveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom,
I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:

“No..I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I hear the person say nervously…..

“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions

Cell phones, don’t you just love them.

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops – a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.Management Lesson: Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one

At the next stop, however, a big hulk like Pathan got in. Six feet four, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the conductor and said, “Pathan doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.

Conductor didn’t argue with Pathan, but he wasn’t happy about it. The next day the same thing happened, Pathan got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next..

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Pathan was taking advantage of poor conductor. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what’s more, he felt really good about himself. So, on the next Monday, when Pathan once again got on the bus and said, “Pathan doesn’t pay!”

The driver stood up, glared back at Pathan, and screamed, “And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Pathan replied, “Pathan has a bus pass.”

A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying “God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.”

The father asked, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.”
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my God, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.”

He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, “HONEY, I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?” He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning our neighbor James dropped dead on our Porch.”

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,”Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute.”
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? “
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic…..

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He said: “Try to do it when the engine is running”.

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Opinions

Way of Life

Punctuality

Contacts

Anger/Displeasure

Queues

View of Myself

Sunday on City Streets

Parties

Restaurants

Stomach Ache

Travelling

Definition of Beauty

Handling Problems

Daily Meals

Transportation

Life of an Elderly

Shower time

Moods & Weathers

The Boss

Whats Trendy

The Child

New Things

Perception of Each Other’s Culture

Husband: Hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife: Would you like to have some snacks?

Husband: hard disk full.
Wife: Have you brought the saree.
Husband: Bad command or file name.
Wife: But I told you about it in morning
Husband: Erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife: Hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.
Husband: File in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife: At least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing violation, access denied.
Wife: I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband: data type mismatch.
Wife: You are useless.
Husband: by default.
Wife: What is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband: the only user with write permission.
Wife: What is my value in your life?
Husband: Unknown virus detected.
Wife: Do you love me or your computer?
Husband: Too many parameters.
Wife: I will go to my dad?s house.
Husband: program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife: I will leave you forever.
Husband: close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife: It is worthless talking to you.
Husband: shut down the computer.
Wife: I am going Husband: Its now safe to turn off your computer